As I am sure all of you are aware, we have entered into our third week of complete lock down and what have I achieved?? Well, my bed has concaved into a me-shaped dent and is being used far more than it should be AND I sacrificed my sleeping pattern to watch a series in two days (but don’t regret it for a moment! For the love of god, if you haven’t watched Fleabag please do so immediately). Part of me (95% of me) feels very guilty about not having run a marathon on a 7 metre balcony, or baked enough bread for all of Breadsville, or written a novel and translated said novel into seven different languages including the extinct ones. There is an awful lot of pressure to do these things and that 95% of me is being incredibly rude to the other 5% of me because I have not gotten these things done. Thankfully there is also a huge push back against this mentality from people on the internet and in real life who care about mental health. These carers like to remind us that we are all people living through a surreal and completely foreign time of crisis with a deadly virus careering around the world. A friend of mine gave me some wonderful perspective on the whole situation; he said, “the point is just to survive. There is a virus that could make you sick and could kill you; your only goal is to not get the illness, that is all you need to do. Everything else is secondary” (White, R. 2020). I think this is very true. By all means, use the time to explore things that you usually don’t have time to explore but do it because you want to and because it brings you joy, not because you will mercilessly beat yourself up if you don’t do it. Many of us are in the very privileged position of actually having a safe place in which to do this exploring, so be grateful for that please. The same friend also shared a poem thingy on Instagram that included the line, “be excessively gentle with yourself”. Shout out for wise friends, am I right?
On the topic of friends! This period of social distancing really makes one realise who and what one truly misses. I have been living alone during this period which I have found quite nice. I do not really struggle with being alone but, despite this, I have found myself deeply deeply missing those who are most important to me. People are so important, good people are so important, people who will always be there for you are so important, and being able to call these good people “my friend” is such an honour. Even in these times when we may not be physically surrounded by our people, they surround us in the sense that they are just a phone call or a meme share away.
When I was a young warthog, and even now, my mother (who is very wise except for when she tried to argue that Brokeback Mountain was a story of friendship… hmm), used to say that if you can count the number of deeply good friends that you have, even on one hand, you are very very lucky. And it’s true! Deep and long lasting friendship are hard to find and can be tricky to maintain, what with the world spinning around at 3000km a minute and everyone moving overseas (go get you dreams but also can you not because I miss you). But, if you are lucky, you have those people that you can go long stretches of time without seeing but when you get together again it is like no time has passed at all. SPECIAL. And how special is it that something aligned in the world to make you meet these people in the first place? And these people in particular! out of all the people in the whole world! And now you’re still friends with them, how lucky is that?!
How lucky that you somehow found a person in grade R to loudly sing the first two lines of the national anthem on the swings with. Why the national anthem? I don’t know, we were six
Something told you to join the pottery club in primary school, and there you made a friend who soon after fractured your wrist while you played basketball but she remains your best friend. And then you also joined drama clubs where you made friends because you have no choice but to bond with people when you spend over and hour with them pretending to be a giraffe.
Something made you sit where you did in high school geography and make a collage with the girl sitting next to you and 10 years later you find yourself drinking wine together on the night before quarantine begins and it is all very comfy. Something in high school also tells you to stay in the Alto section of the choir (even though you are not an Alto) because there is someone who watches Chuck in the Alto section and you should be friends. And something in high school tells you to definitely go on history tour and make up a song about avocados with someone.
Something made you go to Fiction (RIP) after your shift at the pizza restaurant. When you got to Fiction you found out that everyone was deciding to leave early except one person who you weren’t very close to but, at the end of the night you were both giggling uncontrollably about nothing in particular and you were thinking, “I’m so excited to be making this friend”. And you made a friend who you would live with for two years of many laughs and many tears and a whole lot of Harry Potter.
Then your shampoo bottle told you to take Italian in first year and led you to one of the kindest and loveliest people in the world, and who you also had the privilege of living with for two years of many laughs and many tears and many imitations of the washing machine song. And a whole lot of coffee.
Something made you have a bad year and think everything was going to be eternally bad and you were angry but that was the year in which you met many good people who have gone through many bad things. These were people that normally live in different time zones to you and it is only through circumstances that you were all led to the same place, at the same time. Bad things were bad but they eventually resulted in good things and even better friendships
Something made you study drama (must have been the giraffes) and there you were given an impossible task that was long and exhausting but through it you found your safe people who remained your safe people throughout your time in a place that brings a lot of joy but also a whole lot of stress, tears and unsafety (@hiddinghcampus). These are safe people with whom you can share cigarettes with and have fun nights with and tell deep thoughts to. Something led you to a person who keeps you sane during big changes and they also spend too much money on coffee with you (which they blame you for). Something made people invite you to pub quiz team and then everyone did karaoke and formed a squad to play a huge PRANK on every car on campus by lifting the windscreen wipers up. Great prank, never gets old.
Something made you go to that party, something made you talk to that person next to you, something made you meet up for coffee, something made you send that message. Something something something.
Whatever “something” is, I am pretty grateful for it.
I’m sure no one was expecting this, but when I said “you” I actually meant “me". These are all historically accurate accounts of my life. How's that for a plot twist, Days of Our Lives? There are many many other stories and many many other people that I would love to write about endlessly and who deserve to be written about endlessly. All these people deserve endless kindness and only good things and wow, thanks to all these people for allowing me to call them friend.
Please don’t take your people for granted and please do not let people take you for granted.
Okay I’m done being emotional that was super LAME.
Bye, go wash your hands everyone.
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