There was once a small child who did not have many friends. Anyone who was friends with this child was often viewed as “pedantic” or “obsessive”. Most of the child’s friends were in the medical field. The child was often kept in people’s back pockets or bags because maybe they were embarrassed to be seen with him all the time. He largely kept everything inside of him bottled up, even though he was told time and time again that, if he just let it all out, it would be very cleansing for himself and everyone else. He wandered around the world, not going unnoticed but not being particularly prioritised in people’s lives. So many others were like him, they did what he did and people thought that the others did it better than the small child. He could see why people would think that but he couldn’t understand, he was always closest to people! He was the easiest to reach! And he was the one that could be there for you even in the middle of nowhere, provided that you had thought to bring him along. But that was the problem, not many people did not think to bring him along. Maybe one or two people remembered about him when they went on a road trip but then he would just be passed around the group, he was USED by everyone who did not think about him. Everyone wanted something from him but they would never take the time to invest in him. It was a lonely world for the little hand sanitiser bottle until quite recently. But now, the little hand sanitiser bottle has catapulted to the top of the social ladder! People can’t get enough! He is, no doubt, one of the most popular guys on the planet right now. He is worth millions and people would fly from far and wide to get close to him but unfortunately no one is allowed to fly. But, no matter, his family is spread out across the globe. And here we find ourselves, armed with this little guy, our hand sanitiser. We are also armed with a list of side projects that we hope to complete in this time of quarantine. We will more than likely get through about 10% of the list and 100% of the hand sanitiser.
One thing that is on my list is this blog, I guess there is no better time to unearth this dumb mass of cyberspace brain vomit than right now. The present! The secret! The power of now! That’s what that book is about right? The Secret? It’s about being in the moment? I didn’t actually read it, I just remember my high school piano teacher telling me about it and me being confused as to why he would reveal the actual secret. The title of the book is literally begging you not to tell people about the plot twist. Maybe it’s just the sequel to Fight Club. Who knows? I wasn’t going through a midlife crisis when it came out so I didn’t really get around to reading it. Anyway.
Wow, the coronavirus, hey? Not a fun time. Let me add my opinion into the sea of other opinions from far more qualified people. Hold onto your socks, one singular reader who is reading this (thank you) because you’re in for some ground breaking, never been heard before advice. Are you ready? Okay, you asked for it. Please just wash your hands, keep yourself safe in order to keep others safe, and please don’t freak out, freaking out helps no one. Just be sensible and respect the old people. I could say more, I guess, but I also can’t because I don’t know enough and I’ll probably end up spreading rumours. Did you know that the cure to the coronavirus lies within the fibres of two-ply toilet paper? But that’s another story.
I feel that lately my brain has turned into mush and I don’t remember how to blog. Or maybe I have just realised that I don’t have much to say and I don’t know what made me think I should have started a blog in the first place. But that was two years ago now and here we are so we move forward. My life consists of driving to campus (while listening to the same three songs on a loop), arriving on campus and spiralling into the void of self-doubt and imposter syndrome, walking to get coffee to make myself more anxious, walking back to campus with coffee shakes and heightened fear, holding my friend’s hand for comfort, and then driving home at 9pm (while listening to the same three songs on a loop). Thrilling. Sometimes I go out into the world. Sometimes I go out at night and stare at large groups of people bopping up and down to music or sitting around a table laughing at something or other. Sometimes the tables are not laughing because they are watching sport, or talking about politics OR they’re not laughing because they are tables and can’t do that. Ah, the ambiguity of the written word. Generally I partake in all of these going out activities. Yes, I bop, I laugh, and yes, I table. However, those days are long gone! We cannot risk entering spaces with masses of people bopping and laughing and we definitely cannot risk touching a public table, lest we first dip it into the 30 litre drum of hand sanitiser that we all have on hand. Now we can only build friendships through pixelated screens and we can only see the outside world when we press our noses against freshly sanitised windows.
Well, I don’t have much else to say right now, so I hope you enjoyed the four minutes you spent reading this. Those are four minutes that you’ll never get back and now is the time when you should be living every moment to the fullest (indoors only though). So, pranks on you, you just wasted your time! But I do appreciate the time you have given, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. So, thank you, singular reader who is probably my mom. Hopefully I will actually write something again soon and not in several months, as has been a recent trend here.
Thanks for reading byeeee
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