THE FEELS, FAM.

We have spent decades debating and trying to reach a conclusion. Relationships have been torn apart and new ones forged. Insults have been hurled back and forth before they find their target and sink painfully through flesh, muscle, deep into bone. We will never know the answer (but there is one obvious answer).

Disney or Pixar?

I can already hear the grunts and scratches of hoof on floor as the masses shuffle their notes, quotes and anecdotes to support their argument. "Or is it one in the same?" a freckled boy calls from the back. "Doesn't Disney own Pixar??" The crowd mutters and mumbles. Yes, Disney owns Pixar but they produce movies of noticeably different styles. One is objectively better than the other. Fight me. Anyway, the point is that the winner produced quite a clever movie a few years ago, Inside Out which is about the worst thing in the world: emotions. *retches slightly*. I thought it was rather clever how it showed the human noggin split into multiple different sections, as an infinite maze that we can never hope to fully understand despite it being our vessel of thought and analysis. The brain can understand the knee, the hand, and all the bones that join them together but it cannot understand itself. The idea that it is controlled by dozens of little oom-pah-loompah-esque creatures who are prone to creating a mess is a far more realistic view than the one that depicts it as one nicely cohesive unit that just gets on with things. I know this is going to make me sound incredibly stupid but as someone who finds Greek Myths as often making more sense than science (obviously I know this is not the case. I am not a creationist/flat-earth believer/anti-vaccine human. I think I just like the idea that we have seasons because Koré is upset that her daughter has to go down to the underworld for half the year. It is a far more exciting and imaginative thought than pegging it all to the sun rolling around the Earth. Although, yes yes, I know these are the facts that cannot be denied but we can dream, you know?), anyway, we digress. Like I was saying, as someone who finds the Greek myths a rather fantastic way of viewing our world, the way Inside Out depicted the inner workings of the human brain was very appealing and seemed to make a lot of sense. It also makes sense that all the elements of your head tend cause a bit of chaos, especially when the big red FEELS button is hammered down upon, all of a sardine. The Urban Dictionary (one of my more academically respected sources) gives us these definitions of "feels":

"A word used to describe something that is intensely emotional on a level somewhere between you feeling empty and you on the floor in a ball weeping uncontrollably."

OR

"The wave of emotion that hits you like a truck and leaves you thinking, "[Frickle] man, why?" (I edited that description slightly because of the foul language used)

Feels are the worst, especially when they are caused by another human who holds such vice-like grip over the "feels" control stick. Often, the person DON'T EVEN KNOW. This person is generally quite unapproachable, not because they are rude (in fact, they are best person in the world) but because your brain actually shuts down when you try to say two words to them. This is the reason they don't know about your overwhelming feels. They probably think you hate them because you avoid them like the plague (the plague which is just so frikkin CUTE and WONDERFUL that you just want to punch them in their stupid, cute, wonderful face). The feels can also lead to rather questionable coping mechanisms. A good friend of mine recently ended a night with only a bucket and Aspirin to accompany her to bed. This was all thanks to a severe case of the feels. This post is largely inspired by her. You know who you are and I hope you don't mind. They can be rather fatal, the feels, if you ask me.

And the WORST thing about feels? Besides the obvious: the inability to concentrate, permanently feeling on the verge of an asthma attack, feeling annoyed at everyone who isn't the person and being confused as to why said "everyone" isn't actively bringing up the person in any and all conversation. Those suck yes, but the worst thing is how the feels creep up on you, sort of slowly at first, and then they launch, a soaring leap that hits you right in the chest,with an almighty thump and the enthusiasm of that breed of person who thinks a good wholloping on the back will help you when you are choking. Once this pounce has been made, you're screwed. In all but the literal way. You didn't like coin collecting before because it's a bit of a strange concept? Well, your crush does and now old, obscure coins are the best thing that ever hit our blue planet. Cricket is boring, right? Not anymore! That shit is the best! I would happily give up 20 days to glue my eyes to those who probably have sponsored ball-boxes. My favourite animal is also the North America Tree Frog, what a lovely coincidence! Frogs once freaked you out but that is in the past! You now have the overwhelming desire to find this frog on Gumtree and adopt thousands.

Every word that the person utters is read into, deducing meanings that even a high school poetry teacher would call "a bit of a reach", every gesture is analysed and replayed in your mind over and over again, and every word that you said to them is scrutinised while you are trying to fall asleep. The "angry" emotional oom-pah-loompah keeps you up into the wee hours of every morning, lambasting you for being so embarrassing. And all your poor friends are subjected to your never ending whining and pining over the person and you being an absolute cost when any sort of substance is within reach. My friends have certainly had to deal with me in this state a few times. A biiiiig shout out to them for remaining friends with me, love you guys xx

There is no real point to this post but what have we learnt?

Feels suck.

PIXAR IS BETTER.

Thanks for reading!

xx