The past challenge has gone remarkably fast. As it went so fast I have had to do some last minute catch up with my film photos, hence why the past few photos posted have been quite obscure (expect Meryl Streep as a chili, that is always relevant).
Time is something that I super duper don't understand. I don't think anyone does, not even those who have written extensively on it. Time is one of those concepts that you can't think about for too long before you begin to feel the world spinning and caving in at the same time before you are thrust into a void of endless doubt and questions regarding our existence. Well, that's the stage I get to, I just like to assume that everyone experiences that so I don't feel over-dramatic. Why am I talking about this? To fill my empty evening with a task of any kind. Anything to fill this time between birth and death.
That's a bit morbid and only half true. I actually started thinking about time because someone sent me an invitation to an event on 3 August. At first I thought, "wow, someone is doing some serious forward planning" until I realised August is next week. What the HECK is up with that? Usually I find it quite amusing how there is a collective gasp from the Earth's inhabitants at the beginning of every month and everyone turns to the nearest person to confirm that it really IS the start of a new lunar cycle. Already? Surely not! Gosh, it's frightening!
One of the best experiences I have ever had was spending five days having absolutely no idea what the time was. I managed to do this by taking myself away (well, actually school took me away) to the Imfolozi Game Reserve to do a five day trail that was completely off the grid. 5 days of no time, electricity, buildings or even toilets. It was the best 5 days of my life and I would give my right arm to do it again (although that would probably make doing it a bit more difficult). If at any point we were every lulled into think we were not into the complete wild, we were quickly brought back to our reality by some or other event. Once it was wondering into the territory of a male black rhino. Apparently, the plants that Black Rhinos eat are not very good for them. They make the aggressive, reactionary and generally bat-shit crazy. These plants are no doubt key components in the diets of many egocentric, high-powered individuals on our good green earth. I'm sure I don't have to mention any names. We wondered across this rhino snuffling about in the dirt and were told to freeze and then spent the next 20 minutes or so squatting in long gross, slowly shuffling past this rhino while praying the wind wouldn't change direction. We were also casually told to have make sure that we had a tall tree in sight that we could scale if the signal were given. Another gentle reminder of our mortality was when we arrived at a large lake. It was extremely hot and we had two days worth of sweat and dust starting to form into a second skin so we were eager to get into. Our guide told us to "hang on a second" before strolling into the lake with a large stick that he proceeded to use to beat the surface of the water with. He then told us to just stay in the area he had beaten because the crocodiles would have cleared from there. "But still be careful", he said, before calming lying back to float and look at the sky. The guides on the trail were otherworldly. They would stop suddenly and say, "there are wild dogs ahead" but when we all craned our necks excitedly trying to see them, we couldn't see a thing. Then, about 10 minutes down the trail, we would come across a pack of wild dogs. At night, each member of the party would do an hour's night watch. During the time the guides would sleep right through so they could be alert during the day to sniff out wild dogs and crocodile-proof lakes for us. One night, however, a person was slacking of their shift and not doing their checks. The next minute, a guide was by their side and shined the torch onto a rhino that was about 20 meters from the camp. This man had literally just WOKEN UP because he felt the spirit of a rhino filter into his semiconscious state.
If you get the opportunity to do The Primitive Trail in the Imfolozi, please grab it with both hands and feet and shake it extremely hard and then invite me too. I'm actually looking up dates and prices right now if anyone wants to join me?
I took today's photo of my dear, sweet grandmother. She is getting quite old and forgetful and is one of those grandparents who have grown rather cynical of everything, especially old age. She has a morbid interest in predicting her own death and how much time she has left of this earth. Every year on any major event (her birthday, Christmas etc), if there is ever a lull in conversation, she will gaze around the room, give a big sigh and say, "Natalie, this is probably the last Christmas/birthday I will be spending with you". The first time she said this I was shocked and horrified that she could speak such things. It has since became an annual occurrence so far less shocking and rather funny as every year she tries to make this statement weightier in its gloom and doom. Every phone conversation I have with her usually goes something like this:
Me: Gran! How are you?
Gran: Hello Nats, all the better for hearing your voice. I'm okay thanks, just getting old. Old age is not for the feint-hearted, my girl. I do not wish it upon anyone. But, we have no control over our aging.
Me: (uncomfortable laughter, never really sure what to say to this) Ah, Gran, you are only old in numbers, you are just as spritely, young and beautiful as always!
Gran: I was once. Anyway... How is your brother?
(My brother is my Gran's favourite child, it is very obvious. Often, before she asks anything else, she will ask how my brother is)
The conversation goes on for some time. I listen to her talk about all he happenings in her old age home. How the nurses are stealing her cardigans, how useless her bridge partner, Erik, was. The woman didn't know a club from a spade! And don't get her started on Gloria from down the hall. The previous night they had been subjected to a terrible film about goodness knows what that was just riddled with explosions and foul-language. Then she will ask me whether I'm studying or working, what on earth are you wanting to do with a theatre degree? Why aren't you doing a secretarial course? Do you have a boyfriend? Why don't you have a boyfriend? Once she has asked all of the questions, she will ask them all again. Every conversation will end like this.
Me: Alright Gran, it was lovely to speak to you. I'll see you this weekend, Rory and I will come take you out for tea on Sunday.
Gran: Wonderful, it will be lovely to see your brother. How is he?
Me: He is fine, Gran. I will be coming too.
Gran: Glad to hear he's well!
Me: Okay..
Gran: Alright, my girl, well, it was nice speaking to you. Enjoy your life.
I kid you not, every conversation is ended with "enjoy your life". Said in a very somber and all-knowing way. I will then remind her that I will be seeing her soon and she just makes a noise of agreement and tell me to give her love to my brother.
She is a wonderful character of a woman.
Today's photo is yet to be developed but here is another photo I took of my Gran which sums her up quite well.
Tomorrow is the last day!
20/21 Sunrises
20/21 Photos (9/10 Film. The last few days have been on film, hence the recycled photos used for the past few days)
Thanks for reading x
I love this one Nats, you have really captured your Gran so well.
Keen for imfolozi Nats !